Round the Bend 2007 - Richard’s Story with apologies for the length and lack of photos
Part One - background and preparation
June 7th 2007 4.15pm
In the beautiful surroundings of a supermarket petrol station in an unusually hot and sunny Greenock two bikes sit waiting, 2 riders plus one pillion stand in the shade waiting. The bikes are filthy, layers of dead flies forming an almost archaeological history of the last seven days, the riders are twitchy, looking up and down the main road with a 95 mph stare and an ape like stance. All 3 have a weary but satisfied look on their faces. None say very much but the sense of helmet fever and hysteria is not far away. Finally they give up and start getting ready for the last 25 miles when a 3rd bike appears, big grins all round, 5 minutes of chat and 3 bikes enter the stream of traffic heading east along the M8 to complete a 3,350 mile, 7 day circuit of the UK’s coast. Round the Bend? Oh yes.
December 2006
I’m not sure where the idea came from but it was almost certainly part of a conversation about summer holidays with Alan Hill, long time friend and former classmate and flatmate. I had suddenly realised that I was only 10 months away from my 40th and that I had the perfect excuse for a totally self indulgent holiday but unlike my ‘normal’ (i.e. non biking) friends it would not involve alcohol, golf or casinos but one of my now infamous Mad Plans.
We started planning a route to include various landmarks and I realised that a gentle tour was not exciting me so I suggested doing the whole route in a day. Alan raised me to a long weekend of riding the whole Scottish coast which I countered with 6 days around the UK. We had a plan and over the next few weeks we charted a route to include the whole of mainland UK’s coast including the following landmarks:
1. Ardnamurchan Point - GB/Scotland's most westerly point
2. Applecross - GB's 3rd highest road & longest single ascent from sea level
3. Durness - top left corner (without going on the rowing boat to Cape Wrath)
4. Dunnet Head - GB's/Scotland's most Northerly point
5. John O'Groats - top right corner
6. Peterhead - Scotland's most Easterly point
7. The Border just north of Berwick-upon-Tweed - England's most northerly point
8. Lowestoft - GB's/England's most Easterly point
9. Dover - bottom right corner
10. The Lizard - GB's/England's most Southerly point
11. Land's End - bottom left corner & England's most Westerly point
12. Barry - Wales' most Southerly point
13. St David's - Wales' most Westerly point
14. Point of Ayr (near Prestatyn) - Wales' most Northerly point
15. Mull of Galloway - Scotland's most Southerly point
We called it the Round the Bend Tour
Preparation is everything.
Preparing the bikes was a simple matter of servicing and fixing. My bike was almost new but still needed adapting for comfort and practicality with additions of intercom, comfy seat and other gadgets. Preparing the riders was another matter altogether.
The average annual bike mileage is 3,000 miles, a distance we would beat by 15% in 1 week so it was clear that we would have to be very well prepared. Unlike most riders, my biking is done in short bursts over very long distances as part of my working life so a 450 mile day on twisty rutted and bumpy back roads is all in a day’s work. I consider it a privilege to be able to spend my summers delivery medicines all over Scotland in all its varied splendour without the stress of getting stuck in traffic. A normal day will see me leave Glasgow at 3am, ride to Aberdeen and back for 10am and a day in the office, a distance of over 350 miles. For Alan, and Jim who signed up later, this was completely alien.
Alan is big mileage commuter, his 1000cc Yamaha Fazer is 4 years old and looking at the wrong side of 75k miles all done by him. Each year he and his wife Karen take a biking holiday so he knows his tarmac. Jim is not just a riding instructor but actually owns the school and is a Dakar candidate. I know Jim through dirt biking and became firm friends with a common history of business and bike obsession. He rides an Aprilia Mille 1000cc sportsbike but for this trip he used his work’s BMW1150RT which is cunningly liveried up to look distressingly similar to a cop bike. He spends 95% of his riding at 25mph following wobbly learners. I ride a BMW R1200GS Adventure which looks like a dirt bike but is double the size and is built for rough riding and huge distances.
We chatted things through on the phone for a few weeks and all the various pieces started to fall into place. Holiday time was booked, accommodation organised and the route was finalised which only left was practice. One thing I insisted on was a practice run and Jim, being ex TA and a good planner, agreed but even he was a little perturbed at what I had in mind – a 500 mile round trip from Glasgow to Applecross for lunch returning via Inverness. The day for the run was left open for weather reasons and finally we got a window in the weather and our schedules and we were off. We met at Alan’s house at 7am and after some Alan induced fannying around (this becomes very familiar) we were off.
Applecross for apple pie
March in Scotland is a very fickle month for weather (as opposed to the rest of the year!) so we were quite lucky with mild temperatures and only light rain and slightly damp roads as we headed up Loch Lomondside, past Tarbet turning right to head up the A82 towards Crianlarich on the very tight road at the side of the Loch. This is a nasty bit of road cut into the rocky hillside and often blocked when 2 tour buses try to pass each other. It’s still early so traffic is almost non existent and I bugger off in true GS style bouncing over the ruts and potholes keeping a decent speed and getting into the groove. Jim is on my tail but poor Alan is struggling already from a lack of miles without a pillion. At the end of the Loch the road opens up, and Jim and Alan saunter past me and we all enjoy a very quick run through Crianlarich and left towards Fort William, 100 miles or so from Glasgow. If you’ve never been that way it is a revelation. It’s a single carriageway kept in good condition as it is the main west coast route from Inverness to Glasgow and is very busy indeed during the summer. We drift past the Green Welly and Bridge of Orchy and on past Loch Tulla to the best bit of the run – the climb to Rannoch Moor and Glencoe. As we hurtle along the huge straight, Jim warns us, via intercom radios, of the Traffic Cops who sit at the viewpoint with their laser guns and trap bikers doing silly speeds so we haul back to under 3 figures and I lead into the set of hairpins and corners that suddenly climb over 1000ft. We were amazed to see an adult stag stood waiting to be fed and we assumed (incorrectly) that it was a model. No time to gaze, we rode through the barren bleakness of Rannoch Moor and into Glencoe with rain, mist and low cloud, although the clouds were slightly lower it was us being rather high. Suddnely, there ‘s a shout on the radio “LOOK RIGHT!”. Another Stag has popped up and is running wild, scared for it life by our exhausts. It runs alongside, jumps onto the road before diving back off again over the tussocks and away. It’s not just the scenery that’s lethal, one of those animals will kill us just as surely as a car or a bad bend. It serious on the squwk boxes for a bit. Soon, though, we’re reminded yet again of the massive splendour of the mountains as they loom out of the clouds at us. We enter the Glen itself in mist and rain but high above us the clouds break and we see the tops, 2,000ft above us covered in snow and stunningly bright in the morning sun. The clouds close in, we reach the tight bends and we stare at the black of the greasy wet tarmac as if our lives depend on it. Down through Glencoe and as we sight Ballaculish, I glance at the odometer and read 90 miles – not even half way to Applecross!
Over the bridge and up the hill and we’re at the Corran Ferry which will take us onto the Ardnamurchan Peninsula and rejoining the Round the Bend route. 20 minutes later and we’re head of the queue flying out of Ardgour in warm Spring sunshine, refreshed from the break and chocolate and we are all on familiar ground. Alan takes the lead and we hoof towards Salen, loving every corner and searching for the perfect carve. With 3 bikes in radio contact we can safely overtake on blind bends once the leader gets past and calls “Clear …… clear” so we discover “Combat Touring”. The ethos is get past quickly and safely but don’t leave anyone unpassed in case we reach a set of bends where passing is impossible. We have a very tight schedule, you know. The further round we go the tighter and narrower the road gets and the more remote from the real world we feel. Finally we’re on single track, doing 60mph that feels like 100 and with only a short pee stop we reach Lochailort, turn right and head into Fort William for our first tank fill of the day. What a rush, biking at it’s best.
Bikes filled we know we’ve still got a along way to go before lunch so we head North following the signs for the Isle of Skye. The scenery changes from moorland to conifer covered hills reaching higher and higher, funnelling us onwards as we swoop North-westwards beside lochs, dropping down to follow a sea loch to the most famous sight in Scotland. But we don’t have time to play the tourist as just beyond Eilan Donan Castle we head up into barren hills, popping over and down to Strome Ferry and a hidden railway that looks like a scene from the 50’s. I am feeling a bit disjointed, losing track of where we are. It’s an odd one, I’m not tired or confused just so deep into the ‘zone’ that nothing else exists.
Signs for Lochcarron appear and I come back to life. The GPS bleats “left turn ahead” but I can’t see it. OHSHIT! I brake hard and dive left just making the level crossing that’s appeared from nowhere and bang! I see where we are – almost at lunch with THE most stunning ride just around the corner. Through Lochcarron village and on to Bealach na Ba (the pass of the cattle) with the sign pointing out “NOT ADVISED FOR LEARNER DRIVERS, VERY LARGE VEHICLES OR CARAVANS AFTER THE FIRST MILE”. It’s the longest continuous ascending road in Britain rising from sea level to 2053ft before dropping to the secluded community of Applecross. This is it. Tight blind corners taken flat out in 1st gear climbing higher and higher. We harry the cars out our way staring into the valley and at the road ahead in turns. The sticks below us are actually huge Pylons and the whole scene pops into perspective. I round a bend right into an oncoming car, closing speed is less than 20mph and I slam over to the left, skidding the back end round on the power through the gravel whilst Jim calls “she had a wee turn there” over the radio. No time to think, on we speed up over the alpine like pass to the hairpins with vertiginous drops and again without warning we’re in the clouds and heading down into Applecross Village for a warm up and lunch.
6 hours with some long stops and well off the real pace, Alan is sweating and Jim is boggled as I suggest a quick sarny and head to Inverness then home! I am persuaded to have macaroni cheese and a proper debrief for 2 hours.
The road home is via the ‘Coward’s Way’ and before long, Alan has dropped back, struggling to maintain the gap and as we get to Kinlochewe Alan catches up and is clearly upset, his head and bottle have gone as he hits the biker equivalent of the Wall. We stop, fill up and ride south getting home 14 hours after we left. Only now do the others realise what’s involved and Jim is worried while Alan fears he’s dug himself a hole. As for me, I had done it solo 2 years previously and had done 2, 450 mile days that week already so I knew what I was letting myself in for.
It was soon clear that Alan would do the first 1,000 miles in 2 days, whilst Jim and I would do the 1000mile/24hour Round The Bend challenge, meeting up in St Andrews. Jim would head home and Alan and I would carry on South. Bikes were sorted, more practice runs were had and very soon we were off for real.